Woman dating their sons
If secure attachment is like bedrock on which a stable sense of self can be built, insecure attachment is its opposite, shifting as the child grows in understanding.
A longitudinal study by Grazyna Kochanska observed babies at 9, 14, 23, and 33 months and showed that children with different attachment histories showed distinctive emotional trajectories.
(Other daughters I’ve interviewed echoed my personal observations, noting that their mothers’ feelings of competition, criticality, and envy were absent when a son was involved.) As a culture, we tend to look at the mother’s influence on the daughter and the father’s effect on the son, thinking that each provides the mirror to either the feminine or masculine self.In fact, the researchers reported that when they examined all the composite negative emotions (fear in the fear situation, anger in the anger situation, distress in the joy situation), avoidant children’s scores were the highest.Think for a moment about how boys are socialized in this culture and taught to tamp down emotion as proof of their masculinity.No matter what the culture says, acknowledging the pain will make you a better, stronger man, lover, husband, friend, and father.FOR THE ARTICLE ON DAUGHTERS, GO HERE: https:// Maybe it would help everyone if therapists would stop generalizing about who and how a parent has an effect on either gender.