Perfect opening line for online dating
– I’m not saying I’m the type you can take home to your mom, but I’m definitely the type you can take home. CURRENT EVENT OPENERS: – How ‘bout this Crimea and Russia situation? – My heart’s breaking over these bloody insurgencies around the world. I was cast to play the Hunchback in my school play, and we weren’t even doing The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
– I think I love you more than I’ve ever loved myself.
All I ask for in terms of payment is that if one of my openers helps you land a girl, you think of me when you hook up with her (but not, like, in a gay way or anything, be cool). What should we order for breakfast the morning after our date? And if so, do you think your clone would be down for a threesome? SELF-CONSCIOUS OPENERS: – Can’t believe we matched together. – I feel silly asking you this, you probably get hit up by like fifty guys a day, I know you’re out of my league, and there’s no shot you’ll ever respond to this, but I just wanted to say, this is so stupid, you’re probably showing this to all your friends right now and laughing, my god, I am just not cut out for this… – Tell me about the biggest trauma in your life, give me your address, leave the door unlocked, I’ll be there in fifteen. – I would hate it if you met an untimely demise prior to our first date…
Not every girl calls for the same opener, so I’ve grouped them based on different situations. Using a Flirty Opener when the girl’s profile clearly calls for an Edgy Opener could lead to disaster. CONFIDENT OPENERS: – Just got a haircut without running it by my mom. KEEP IN MIND, I AM GLUTEN INTOLERANT AND ALLERGIC TO NUTS. – After looking at your pictures, my pants feel like Syria—a lot of unrest. You’re so pretty, and physically speaking, I am simply hideous.
Women were 40 percent more likely to respond to questions about food, like, “Chocolate, red velvet or Funfetti?
” while men were 98 percent more open to assertive messages, like, “Free this weekend? The youngest crowd, those under 23 years old, showed their relative lack of life experience by preferring novelty questions, like, “What’s your painkiller personality: Tylenol or Advil?
And the oldest group, those 35 and older, like to pretend they’re younger with questions about pop culture, like, “Taylor Swift of Katy Perry? Clearly the formula for a successful pickup line is anything involving colons (the punctuation, not your bowels) and multiple-choice answers.
Online dating has a lot going for it: It’s easy, fast, wide-ranging, and the electronic screen can lessen the blow of rejection.
I’d definitely notice if you went missing, on account of your nice boobs.
– Sometimes I feel like I could go missing for weeks before anyone even noticed.
All these openers have gotten responses for me personally and for many of my clients. If anybody has other openers that work well for them online, post them in the comments.
Anyway, You seem pretty adventurous, so tell me this...